


Ride or Die (Happy x Reader)

by crimsonheart01



Series: Assorted SOA One-Shots & Imagines [22]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 06:10:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13335111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsonheart01/pseuds/crimsonheart01
Summary: This is a loose continuation to Ain’t No Loving Me. If you haven’t read it, you don’t have to. For those who have read it - the Reader in this short is the same one as in that one.WARNINGS: VIOLENCE, TORTURE & LANGUAGE (Also potential triggers)





	Ride or Die (Happy x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> **Playlist:**[Gangsta - Kehlani](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAYgZEMMWxo)  
>  **Find Me On:** [Tumblr](https://crimsonheart01.tumblr.com/), [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/crimsonheart01) or [FFN](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6033058/crimsonheart01)

**_I blinked, trying to focus on the room around me. Was it moving? It was too bright and I shut my eyes again. I heard voices around me, and hands touching me. I couldn’t breathe… there was something covering my mouth. I thrashed to the side. More hands gripped down, attempting to hold me in place. I felt a jab into my side and moaned out in pain. The sound brought forth more pain in my chest and I coughed, tasting metal in my mouth. My eyes rolled back. I groaned. I opened my eyes again, searching desperately for some type of clue. The only faces I could make out were Asian. I cursed, the blood spilling back in to my throat. Triad._ **

**_“She’s coming to.” My mind registered that voice._ **

**_Lin._ **

**_I kicked my legs, giving the men holding me down a fight to the death. There was no way this was how I was going out._ **

**_Fuck Jackson Teller._ **

**~(SOA)~**

I stormed through the doors of Redwoody – all heads turning in my direction. I scanned the room and found the ‘chapel’ to my right. I kicked the door open, pulling my Beretta out from the holster hidden under my shirt. I barely registered the uproar around me.

“You can’t be in here!” “This is official club business!” “What the fuck do you think you’re doing!?”

I sidestepped each hand reaching out for me, rushing to the head of the table. I cocked my firearm, resting the end of the barrel at the President’s temple. He lifted both hands in surrender, a cold front emanating between the both of us. His baby blues shooting ice at the fiery passion in mine. From the corner of my eye I registered as his Sergeant-At-Arms stood, his hand hidden in the top of his cut. No doubt resting on the hilt of his Glock.

“What seems to be the problem?” Jackson tilted his head up, a devoid smirk on his mouth.

I barred my teeth, licking across the top ones, “Up.”

With a show of his hands, he placed them on the edge of the table and pushed against it, his chair rolling backwards. I stepped with it, keeping my gun in place. Jackson stood.

I pointed to the door, “Walk.”

Every other man in the room jumped up, their eyes and voices raising as I forced their President out of the room. I heard the distinct sound of a gun cocked and I reached forward, slipping Jackson’s Glock into my grip and pointed it behind me. I aimed directly at the forehead of his Sergeant while I met Happy’s glare. Tig stopped short unsure of how to proceed. There were a few sharp inhales throughout the room. Silence echoing around us. Happy’s teeth ground together, the tick showing on his jaw. I turned back on Jackson, my other arm still extended at the room behind me. With his hands still in the air, he strode through the busted in door. The blonde woman, I think her name was Lyla, in charge of the studio gasped and widened her arms, keeping the rest of girls behind her. I turned Jackson in the direction of the entrance door and he shouldered it open.

“To the water.” I ground the metal into his skin, forcing him to keep moving.

I felt the presence of each member as they followed behind us. There was one set of footsteps that I stayed focussed on. Those steady footfalls familiar and causing for more grief to wash through me. This wasn’t his fight. This wasn’t his decision. We reached the edge of the pier, and I shoved Jackson down onto his knees.

I lowered into a squat, my lips against his ear, “Have you told them?” I spared a glance behind us, my eyes catching those of their famed killer, “Does he know?”

My gaze flicked back to Jackson’s profile and I chuckled bitterly at the way he swallowed. Distinct and obvious. He lied. To his own club. They weren’t privy to the situation he caused. The uproar he got me caught up in. I rolled back on my heels, letting my Beretta hang away from him for a second.

“Hands behind your head.” I ordered.

**~(SOA)~**

**_I woke up a second time, my face covered with a mouldy fabric. I coughed, choking on the overwhelming smell. I jostled my arms, realizing they were tied around the table I was laid out on. I moved my legs, feeling the cool metal clasped around my ankles. This was a shit show. I growled, the noise a deep reverb in my throat. I was right to be suspicious. This wasn’t something Happy would’ve been on board with._ **

**_“She’s up.” An accented voice spoke from to the left of me, “Call Lin.”_ **

**_I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for someone to hit me, but nothing came. After a few minutes of an eerie silence, only the sound of dripping water in the background, light footsteps could be heard coming from the far end of the room._ **

**_“Take it off.” Lin ordered._ **

**_The ropes tying my arms together were ripped open and I was yanked to a seated position. The sack over my head was torn away, a chunk of my hair ripped out in accompaniment. I hissed at the sudden bright light shone in my face and flinched away as Lin got in close. He had a sinister smile on his mouth._ **

**_“I bet you’re wondering why you’re here.” He turned his back to me._ **

**_I glanced around the room, counting seven men. As accurate as that assessment was, that didn’t help me if I made it to the hallway._ **

**_Lin kept his monologue going, “You know… I’m almost sorry I have to do this. You’d be the perfect asset for the Triads. I saw that manoeuvre at Diosa. You’re a smart girl. How the Sons end up meeting someone like you – I’ll never know.” He turned back around, the smile dropping from his mouth, “but too bad for you. You made your allegiances clear.”_ **

**_He snatched the cigarette from the closest man to him and sauntered up to the table. He snapped his fingers and two men grabbed my shoulders and shoved me back down._ **

**_Lin bent in close, his face inches from mine, “Did he think he could hide from me? Did he think I’d never find out?”_ **

**_Lin inhaled a deep toke, blowing the smoke back out into my face. I took care to breath out of my nose at the same time, stopping myself from choking on the cloud. He flicked away the excess ash before smashing my face into the side of the metal table and jamming the lit cigarette into the crook of my neck._ **

**_“JACKSON!” I screamed out in a guttural cry, ingraining the feeling of pain with his face._ **

**_I’d never forget. This was his fault._ **

**~(SOA)~**

“I hear that your dear Colette didn’t make it out that night…” I trailed off.

A few feet behind us shuffled. A telltale sign. They knew what I was referring too. The attack on Diosa. How was Nero fairing? I wondered. However the time for wondering wasn’t now. There was juicy bit of information the Sons weren’t privy too. Something I felt it necessary to inform the entire club of.

“But you didn’t want her too… Now did you?” I tapped the barrel of his Glock against my bottom lip. I shrugged, eliciting a bitter giggle, “I was supposed to save you that trouble.”

“What’s she talking about, Jax?” Chibs’ thick burr interrupted.

I lifted both guns towards him and he backed up a step. Happy took another step closer and I shot him a clear  _stop-in-your-tracks_  glare.

“Ah-ah.” I warned the VP, “Stay put. No interfering. I wouldn’t appreciate having to teach you a lesson as well.”

Chibs glared back at me while Happy remained in his place. His knuckles white around the hilt of his firearm. Tig’s nostrils flared and he moved to charge at me. Both Happy and the VP had their arms fly out, catching their Sergeant-At-Arms. Knowing it wasn’t worth the blood bath. Or at least Happy knew what I was capable of. However that didn’t stop the skinny one –  _Ratboy_  was his name – from dashing towards me. Without any hesitation I shot one round from Jackson’s gun. I held my arms taut, prepared for the recoil. Ratboy closed his eyes as the chamber emptying ricocheted through the air. He prepared himself for the worst. Everyone fell silent, even Jackson had turned around to see. After a second of quiet Ratboy opened his eyes again. Everyone stared. There was blood dripping from his ear. He lifted his hand, frantically pressing against his head but found no bullet wound. There was no puncture, but there was a trail… one that grazed his ear, effectively skinning him.

I tilted my head to the left, “Next time… I won’t miss.”

Each man turned their head towards me and then to Happy. A few of them gulped, having a little bit more of a clue why Happy and I clicked. I took a deep breath in, closing my eyes for a second. I opened them again on exhale and circled around Jackson.

“Let’s recap shall we?” I licked my lips, “You called me, asked for a favour said that Happy was cool with it. I denied you anyway, you persisted. I insisted I call Hap but you said it was fine. To meet you at Diosa.” A few murmurs came from the men still frozen from fear I’d kill them all. I digressed, “Trusting you, taking your word for truth, I made my way to Diosa.”

I stood behind Jackson now, my gun pressed against the back of his head. Execution style. I flipped my hair over my shoulder, meeting Happy’s angry eyes. I could feel the distrust; betrayal emanating from him. Particularly for me, but there wasn’t anything to be done about it now.

“Anything you want to say?” I asked Jax, my eyes still locked on Happy’s, “Anything you want to –  _I don’t know_  – apologize for?”

A beat of silence, we all waited.

Jackson sighed, “I don’t regret it.”

**~(SOA)~**

**_My head was tilted backwards, a thick burlap sack thrown over my face. I heard the slosh of the water from the bucket being carried over. I took quick breaths, hoping to fill my lungs with enough air. I knew what they were about to do. A classic tactic. Lin spent the entire time sitting in a chair across from me. Watching with pure, sickening delight etched onto his face. I could still picture it even as my eyes struggled to focus on the fabric covering me._ **

**_“I think I’m going to enjoy this.” He chuckled._ **

**_I gulped and tried to thrash out of my holdings. I shook my head from side to side, hearing the man with the bucket close in on me._ **

**_Another laugh, “Struggling won’t help you now.” Lin snapped his fingers, “Start the camera. I want to make sure they get everything.”_ **

**_“Fuck you Lin.” I spat and regretted it as the water came flooding into my senses._ **

**_I sputtered, trying to shake away but a hand held me in place by my forehead. I choked, the water rushing up my nose and down my throat. The bucket emptied and I heaved a deep breath only to be bombarded with a second blast. I cried. Or at least I think I did. They weren’t even looking for information. This torture was just for the hell of it. Little did they know, it wouldn’t be Jackson who would care about this… Happy would be the one to fly off the handle at their home video. Not even Jackson would be able to yank that lease backwards. Not once this was aired. I felt as my eyes rolled back into my head. If I wasn’t going to survive this at least I’d give them a fight. I wasn’t about to let these assholes think I gave up that easily._ **

**~(SOA)~**

I let out a small huff of air. Of course he didn’t.

“Good to know.” I pressed the gun heavily into the back of his skull, “Care enough for the details?”

Happy’s expression switched, glowering. At first at me but now in regard for his President. His entire body went rigid. They were not forced to notice the state I was in. They weren’t blind. They could see the bruises, and probably a few burns. It wasn’t like I was trying to hide them.  What struck me as odd was that no one found the need to question my haggard appearance. Were they that self-centered? I flicked my eyes away from Happy. I couldn’t bear to look at him while I recounted my last three days. I stared down at the silver metal of the gun.

“They tortured me. Lin and this men.” I spoke, the words wavering in my voice thick with rage. “You called me…. as I arrived at Diosa. You were caught up –  _you told me_  – but we both know you were too much of a coward to face me. After lying to me, and in avoidance, Happy as well. You knew I’d see the lie all over your face. You knew Happy wouldn’t have approved.” I paused, taking a breath, “You gave me the job over the phone. Asked me to take out Colette for you. You put me in harm’s way. You never expected her to make it through the night. Clearly you didn’t bank on Lin finding out you tortured one of his men but you knew… You knew! Didn’t you!?”  

There was a collective inhale. I didn’t know club business, but when you’re kidnapped by the competition and they don’t expect you to survive, they tend to divulge secrets of the trade.

I nodded, “I know, right?” I glared at all the men behind me, “I managed to out gun one of Lin’s men. Fought back. For your club I might add. I shot back at them. I killed quite a few of them too. Lin noticed. Guess what he thought. He thought I was a hired hand. A bodyguard.” I turned back to Jackson, shoving my gun into soft spot under his jaw, “He thought you knew he knew. He thought you hired me for added protection.” I rolled my eyes, “Even told me I made my allegiances clear. Why? Because I chose to shoot at them instead of letting them kill m-”

My tirade was halted by the sound of Happy’s rasp, “The truth?”

Both Jackson and I whipped around to face him. Jackson’s face was tense, his guilt written all over it. My eyes were dead. Resigned in the fact that I was breaking all ties with SAMCRO after today. Happy’s expression remained dormant, no change registered. He gave one quick nod. He kept his gaze trained on his President who in turn ground his teeth together at the interrogation.

**~(SOA)~**

**_I wish I knew how long it’d been. If I still had my wits about me, I’d guess a week but it felt like longer… so much longer. When I resolved to fight – I hadn’t realized what lengths they’d go to make a point. I was exhausted and if I was being honest, ready to let go._ **

**_I breathed out, the motion of my lungs expanding causing a striking pain to sore through my side. I groaned rolling my head to the side. I jerked my arms with the movement and cringed as something sharp scratched along my forearm. My eyes snapped open. Their first mistake. I shifted, moving my arms across the underneath of the table. I felt around blindly until my finger found the protruding nail. I smiled, laughing with wild abandon. This was my chance._ **

**_I positioned the ropes around my hands directly in line with the nail and began sawing. I listened intently to the sounds around me. I could hear murmurs from outside the door, but thankfully I was alone in the room. I continued at worked through my binds, even when my body cried out from exhaustion. I powered through. I couldn’t give up. Not when I discovered one weakness. One that I could take advantage of._ **

**_I nearly shouted with glee as the bonds broke and I brought my hands around my front. I ripped away the blindfold and rolled my eyes as I tried to adjust to the light in the room. It wasn’t bright by any means, but when you’ve been blindfolded for days, it took a minute to adjust to your surroundings again. I pulled away the final bit of the ropes and rubbed at my wrists. They were red and had a few lacerations around them. I pulled my knees up and scooted along the table to my feet. I fumbled with the bindings there but eventually got them untied. For a world renowned gang, they used some really old school ways of tying people up. Ropes, really? Who used those anymore?_ **

**_I flung my legs over the ledge and gingerly hopped down. I waited a few minutes, pacing back and forth to get my strength back. I had no idea what the facility was like. How was I supposed to make my escape without a plan? Fuck. I’d have to make it up on the go. I closed my eyes, took a centering breath and tiptoed towards the door._ **

**~(SOA)~**

“I called her.” Jackson started, “I needed Colette out of the way. She was a reminder of Tara. I needed a clear head. So yeah – I called her.” His eyes flicked to my face, indicating I was the ‘her’. “I had to lie. You’ve both been clear on her standings when it came to the club. You’re the killer for us, not her but this wasn’t something I could ask of you. I needed a third party.”

Happy stepped closer, but maintained a good distance from both Jackson and I, “You put her in danger?”

Hap glared at Jackson, waiting for him to answer him. Admit that he’d endangered his woman. I watched through hooded eyes. Scared at the outcome. Regardless of what happened here today, I didn’t think I’d be seeing Happy again. I couldn’t muster up the resolve to keep putting myself in danger for his club. Even if it was just because of my association with him. 

Jackson licked his lips, “I promise you – I didn’t know Lin was going to shoot up the place.”  

At Jackson’s words I snapped. I swung my arm around, shoving both barrels into the back of his head.

“Don’t.” I hissed, “Don’t pretend like you didn’t know Lin was on to you. It wasn’t just a coincidence that I was there the same night he retaliated.” One stray tear escaped my eye from pure rage, “Why else would you have backed out last second?”

I jammed both guns deeper into his head, my fingers beginning to press down against the triggers. Before I was able to assassinate the man who was responsible for my kidnapping, a rough hand circled around my wrist. I didn’t need to look. I knew who it was. His other hand swiped at my hair, shifting it over my shoulder and away from my neck. His fingers branched out as he traced the first mark Lin left me with. I flinched away from him, the wound still fresh. As I flinched away – my hands pulled back, the guns cradled against my stomach.

I watched in slow motion as Happy’s expression hardened at my reaction to his touch. I’d never shied away from him before. This was a new occurrence for us. In a shift movement, Hap coiled his hand around Jackson’s jaw, cocked his arm back and slammed his fist into his President’s face.

“HAPPY!” Someone bellowed from behind us.

I stood in shock as Happy pounded into Jackson. I hadn’t meant to cause a mutiny. I just wanted to kill the bastard. I was shoved off to the side as men barreled forward, two yanking Happy backwards and the others catching their President as he slumped towards the pavement. Happy was in a place of pure hatred. I knew we were close. I knew we cared, I just hadn’t banked on him caring that much. That made my next decision all the more harder.

I sighed and all the eyes snapped towards me. I flicked the safety of the Glock back on and pulled open the bullet chamber. I plucked out each bullet one by one and flung them down on the ground. I opened my palm and let the Glock fall haphazardly from my grip.

“Lose my number.” I warned all of them, my eyes settling on Happy’s face.

I turned on my heel and walked away. I’d let them deal with their own problems. Happy wanted his President to live, the so be it but if I ever crossed paths with the blond again… He wouldn’t live to tell the tale.

**~(SOA)~**

**_I pressed my ear to the crack of the door frame. I didn’t hear any breathing directly outside of the room so I risked taking a peek. Without any sound I turned the door handle and inched it open. I peered through and noticed a long hallway. There was a man standing at other end, but he seemed to be alone. He was leaning with his shoulder against the wall, a semiautomatic hanging from his belt and his phone in his hand._ **

**_I couldn’t see very far past him but I did notice that it was brighter on the other side of the opening. I pushed the door open, only enough to slip through and closed it soundlessly behind me. I tiptoed along the corridor keeping my eyes sharp. Any noises, or sudden movements would give me away._ **

**_As I neared him I held my breath. I reached up from behind him, slamming my hand around his mouth and nose while grabbing his gun and shoving it into his gut. I let off a few rounds, riddling him with fatal wounds. I backed away, keeping the gun in my hand and let him collapse into a heap on the floor. I knew I wouldn’t be alone for long. Not with the sound of gunfire echoing through the warehouse. I rummaged through his pockets and smiled when I found keys to a car. I snatched them up and took off through the opening. I burst into a large room filled with shipping containers. This was going to be easier than I thought._ **

**_I flitted through the lines, avoiding all the men that were now racing towards the sound of gunfire. I heard as Lin discovered my disappearance. He voice echoed through the building._ **

**_“FIND HER!”_ **

**_I reached the end of the row I was in and plastered myself against the side. If I made it past here it was home free. I chanced a glance and saw the mess of cars parked. I lifted the keys and pressed the unlock button hoping to see the flicker of lights. Thankfully one of the Audi’s in the back was my saving grace. I took a deep breath and booked it. There was no turning back now. It was do or die. I reached the car without being spotted. I climbed in, rammed the keys into the ignition and started it up._ **

**_My cover blown by the sound of the engine I saw as a few men raced towards where I was. I threw the car into reverse and the tires squealed with the force I pushed the gas pedal down with. I shot out of there like a bat out of hell. Once I was far enough away I jerked the wheel and the car spun around to face the front. Bullets snapped into the metal of the car. I ducked, switched into drive and took off._ **

**_I weaved in and out of traffic until I hit the highway. Once I was there, I was free. No more men running after me. There was no telling how Lin would react but I doubt he’d send someone after me. He didn’t seem like the kind to chase after someone he was making an example out of. He’d let it play out. See how the Sons reacted. I raced back into Charming, one destination on my mind._ **

**~(SOA)~**

Other than locking my front door, the first thing I did when I got home was shower. I turned the hot water faucet on, forgoing the cold. I needed to cleanse myself of my pain and torment. All at the hands of a rival gang. Oh –  _oops_  – I mean club. I stepped into the tub, pulling the curtain closed behind me. I let the spray of the scalding hot water drench my body. I closed my eyes and angled my face into the spray. I needed this. This was my comfort. This was my safe place. It’d been too long since I’d been in a compromising situation. I forget what it was like to be on the other side. I was the killer – not the killee. I slammed my fists into the wall, crying out in anguish. How had this happened to me? TO ME? A goddamned assassin. Losing all steam, I slumped forward. My forehead connected with the cool tiles of the wall and I spread my hands out beside me, keeping me upright.

I stayed in the shower, reliving every second of the last 72 hours. How had I let my guard so far down that I didn’t notice the set up? What would Happy really do? A punch to the face wasn’t as strong of a statement as one would think. Not in our profession. While I stood there mulling things over, I heard the click of the bathroom door open. My body tensed in reaction to the sound. I flipped around, staring at the edge of the curtain, waiting. Whoever thought to come after me would be sorely mistaken. I steadied my breathing when I noticed the familiar scent waft through the steam.  _Happy_. I didn’t relax.

I watched as his fingers pulled at the curtain. Our eyes met immediately. We stared at one another in silence for a long minute. He shifted, the potential to come closer clear in his resolve.

I shook my head, “Go away.”

He narrowed his eyes. He didn’t like my tone. I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just needed some time to myself.

I swallowed, “Please. I need to be alone.”

I saw the tick in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. After a moment of deliberation, he let go of the shower curtain and I heard the door close again behind him. I let out a breath of relief. I really wasn’t prepared to have to deal with his questions. Not yet at least. I knew him well enough to not leave. He give me my moment, but he’d still be there, waiting when I got out. I turned back around to face the spray of water. It was ice cold now. I rolled my shoulders, pursing my lips together as it caused a ripple of muscles to protest.  I was in bad shape. I did a quick wash, making sure most of the blood and grime was gone.

I turned the faucet off and stepped out of the shower. I grabbed the biggest towel hanging on the back of the door and wrapped myself up in it. I snagged my comb from the holder on the counter and padded towards the door. I took a deep breath, preparing for what was awaiting me. When I stepped through the door, his gaze snapped up. True to everything he was, he stayed. He was sitting on the edge of my bed, fully dressed complete with his shoes. A sign that he didn’t plan to stay long. I catch the grimace that graces his face for a split second. He stands, making his way towards me and guides me to the bed. I didn’t need the help but in the moment I welcomed it. It felt good to have someone concerned for my wellbeing.

He sat me down. I obliged and watched as his hands assessed the damage he could see without removing the towel. He growled. Unimpressed with what he found.

“Chibs is outside.” He informed me.

I shook my head, “I’m fine.”

“No.” He narrowed his eyes at me, “Let Chibs have a look.”

I sighed, “Fine but help me get dressed first.”

Together we managed to get myself into a sports bra and running shorts. While I settled back onto the bed, combing through my hair, Happy stepped out. He’d been only gone for a few minutes before I heard two sets of feet trudging up my stairs. I didn’t look up when they approached. I kept my eyes trained on the spot on the wall in front of me. Happy entered without any qualms but I sensed as Chibs hesitated. As Happy approached I finally glanced up and Happy was staring straight down at me. I spotted the anger at himself in his eyes. Deeply embedded.

“Stop.” I whisper. “You have no blame in this.”

At the sound of my hoarse voice, Chibs snapped out of his indecision and came over to stand next to Hap. He had a medic bag hanging over his shoulder. Chibs and I gazed at one another, before I gave him a slight nod. He understood the permission and dropped the bag down next to me. Happy backed away, leaning against the wall. In the same spot that I was previously mesmerized with. I let Chibs work away. He smeared a cool cream over the burns and made sure to stitch up any deep gashes. All in all the damage wasn’t too bad. Considering the events that caused them. Once Chibs was finished he packed up his supplies and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I blinked in shock. I’d never been close with any of the Sons, just Happy.

As he pulled away, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I fought with the tears beginning to well. The emotion was pure and thick, laced within that brogue. I swallowed and nodded. Without another word, Chibs departed, leaving Happy and I alone.

I shivered, the air conditioning reacting with the moisture on my skin. Happy noticed. He slid out of his cut and pulled his t-shirt up and over his head. He tossed it to me. I caught it, a small wince on my face from the movement. I pulled the shirt on and hugged my arms around my middle. I was tired. I crawled to the head of my bed, and curled up on what used to be Happy’s side. I took a deep breath in, memorizing the scent of his cologne. I began to drift off when I heard a stirring from behind me.

I remembered Happy’s presence and whispered, “Stay. For tonight.”

We both recognized the finality of my words. We both knew that this was the end. I kept my distance from the club. What happened to me was a good reason why. Happy knew I wasn’t going to subject myself to their turmoil. I had my own career to look after. Regardless of my feelings for the man. He also wasn’t in a position to carry this forward. Not after the events between him and his President. I’d be surprised if Jackson didn’t order another hit, this time for him. They took their hierarchy serious.

I waited at Happy slipped off his boots and hung his cut over my side table. He pulled the covers back and slipped into the bed behind me. I scooted up, tucking myself under the covers and allowing him to wrap his arm around my middle. I shuffled closer to his warmth, reveling in the comfort he provided. I could be weak for one night. There was nothing wrong with admitting that I was still scared.

As I drifted off into a safe slumber, I murmured to the man I’d never share a bed with again, “Thank you.”

**~(SOA)~**

_…three months later…_  

It was in the middle of the afternoon when I heard his Harley roar to a stop four houses down from mine. With my mug in my hand I walked through the house to the front window. I leaned my hip against it and plucked the curtains away to peer through. I watched as he killed the engine and sat against the seat, staring at my car. I wasn’t sure if he’d seen me but I let go of the curtain, letting it flutter back into its place. I didn’t know why he was here and I wasn’t in the welcoming mood.

I turned away from the window, padding my way down the hallway into my living room. I sank down onto the couch and stared at the TV screen. Unconsciously my fingers brushed over the cigarette burn on my neck. I trembled at the reminder and slammed my eyes shut. I’d successfully spent the last few months healing and throwing myself back into my work. I didn’t need the reminder of what happened. Not when it was still this fresh. I grabbed the remote and held down the volume button. I let the TV show blast through my speakers. I needed a distraction.

No matter how loud the TV was, I couldn’t get the thought of him out of my mind. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. Of course I did. I even kept his shirt from our last night together. I never washed it. Gross, I know but I couldn’t stomach ridding it of his smell. I sighed and stood back up. I went to the front and gazed out the window again. He was still in the same spot, only difference now was that he was smoking. Our gazes met and we both paused. Neither he nor I moved. I blinked and backed away from the window. He could make the first move. I’d wait for him to start this reconciliation.

_…six hours later…_

I was leaning against the counter in my kitchen, twirling a pen in my hand and staring down at a map. I was jolted out of my concentration by a gentle knock on my front door. I checked the clock and logged that it was a little after 8 in the evening. I raised one eyebrow. Took him long enough. I dropped the pen and rounded the island. I stalked towards the door. I could see his shadow through the glass and stopped a foot away. Was I ready to face him again? I’d spent most of the day trying to ignore his presence. I realized during that time that I missed him. He’d been the closest friend I had in a long time. Someone who truly understood why I did what I did. Someone who reserved judgement. Even those that hired people like us didn’t understand.

I closed my eyes and reached for the doorknob. I flicked the lock open and pulled the door towards me. Happy’s head raised at the sound and I felt the leap of my stomach. He looked distraught. I bit down on my lip, unsure of how to approach he man across from me.

His shoulders raised with the breath he took and he muttered, “He’s gone. Jackson is gone.”

I tilted my head, processing the statement. I raised one eyebrow as it sunk in. Jackson was dead? By his hand? Did it matter anymore? I decided in that moment that it didn’t. I just wanted him back. I wanted my friend, my lover. I reached forward and caught his wrist. I tugged him forward and inside. In a sudden display of affection, Happy wrapped his arms around me. I gasped at the contact, unprepared for it. After the initial shock I snaked my arms through his and around his back.

Before I could get too comfortable he pulled back, his arms restricting me from leaving.

“Little girl…” He started and I jolted at the pet name.

It had been too long since I heard him call me that.

He lifted one hand back up to his head and rubbed the snake on his skull, “SAMCRO is going legit. No more guns, no more gangs.” I rolled my lips together, but he quelled my questions with one of his own, “Take my crow? Be my Old Lady?”

I took small step back, my mouth open in surprise, “What happened?”

“Everything.” He shook his head, his eyes closing.

We remained silent for a moment and then he asked again, “Baby. Please. Let me give you my crow.”

I avoided his gaze, my eyes flicking from object to object around the room. My head was spinning. This was all too much. Just earlier that day I was cursing his existence, unyielding in my hatred for his brothers. Now – after spending the day deciding I didn’t care about who he associated with – he was asking me to make everything we had months ago official. Standing with his arms around me wasn’t helping my decision making skills, but I did know I wanted to keep him around. I wasn’t ready to be branded, not yet but maybe one day.

My lips lifted up into a smirk, “What’s in it for me?”

He stiffened momentarily until he digested my playful gesture. He lifted his lips in a mischievous growl and tugged my back towards him. His lips crashed down into mine and I echoed his growl with one of my own. He leaned forward, bending and grasping the back of my thighs in his strong grip. He hoisted me up as I wrapped my legs around his hips and he slammed us into the closest wall.

“I missed you.” He grunted around my lips.

I rolled my eyes, reaching for the bottom of his shirt, “Shush. There are more important things at hand here.”

He chuckled darkly and I winked at him. I loved this man. I could admit that. I’d tell him… eventually. I was just glad to have him back in my arms. Three months away from him – rightly so or not – was too long. He never harmed me. He did the exact opposite. I shouldn’t have pushed him away. I would prove to him that I was in this for the long haul.


End file.
